Throw Up the Deuce


Quick Hits: Olympic Third Round

  • Serena wins a tight match over Alize Cornet, 3-6, 6-3, 6-4, and breaks a racquet in the process
  • Venus beat Viktoria Azarenka to set up a meeting with Chinese hopeful, Na Li.
  • JJ somehow is winning matches beating Dominika Cibulkova, 7-5, 6-1.
  • Elena “Rocket Serve” Dementieva beat Caro Wozniacki, 7-6 (3), 6-2.
  • R. Fed avenges his Athens 2004 loss to Tomas Berdych, 6-3, 7-6.
  • Rafa routines Igor Andreev, 6-4, 6-2.
  • Djerkovic beat Mikhail Youzhny, 7-6, 6-3.
  • James Blake defeated Gilles Simon to set up a date with Roger Federer in the quarterfinals.

Filed under: Olympics, Quick Hits, , , , , , , , , , ,

Mary Carillo and Panda Sex

Who would’ve bet they’d ever hear those words in the same sentence? Everyone’s favorite tennis commentator has been a regular feature on NBC’s Olympic Gold Medal Spotlight. Tonight’s feature was unbelievably enlightening and creatively entitled “Panda Babymaking”. Mary Carillo took us through the fascinating world of panda mating. While she used the word “stud” a few times too many, I forgave her when I saw her eat that panda biscuit. Ah, Mary, you just made my Olympics.

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Casey Dellacqua, Get Over It

Casey Dellacqua slammed Olympic officials for “being forced to strip down to her sports bra in front of thousands of fans in Beijing.” Casey wanted to change her shirt, but did not want to take a bathroom break to do so, instead wanting to go behind the back fence. The chair umpire, however, would not let her. Jesus, its just a sports bra, its not like her boobs are hanging out. She’d still be wearing way more than what the beach volleyball players wear. Some women’s tennis players are such divas.

Filed under: Dellacqua, Olympics, , , , ,

Quick Hits: Olympics Second Round

  • Serena looked sharp as she utterly dismantled Samantha Stosur, 6-2, 6-0.
  • Venus beat Iveta Benesova 6-1, 6-4 in singles and then teamed up with Serena and beat her again in doubles.
  • The Chinese women, Na Li and Jie Zheng, advanced in front of their home crowd.
  • Caro Wozniacki took Daniela Hantuchova to the cleaners, 6-1, 6-3.
  • JJ did not withdraw after all and beat Alona Bondarenko 7-5, 6-1.
  • R. Fed sets up a rematch with his Athens 2004 conquerer, Tomas Berdych.
  • Rafa wiped the floor with Aussie, Lleyton Hewitt, 6-1, 6-2.
  • Djerkovic beat Rainer Schuttler 6-4, 6-2.
  • Fourth seed, Nikolay Davydenko, went out to P.H. Mathieu, 7-5, 6-3.

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Quick Hits: Olympics First Round

  • China’s Na Li took out the third seed, Svetlana Kuznetsova, 7-6 (5), 6-4.
  • Wimbledon semifinalist, Chinese Jie Zheng, upset 11 seed Agnes Szavay, 7-5 in the third.
  • New world number 1, Jelena Jankovic, beats Cara Black on one leg, 6-3, 6-3.
  • Both of the Sisters advanced comfortably.
  • R. Fed and Rafa won both their singles and doubles matches.
  • Yen-Hsun Lu upset Andy Murray, 7-6, 6-4.
  • Serbians, Novak Djerkovic and Janko Tipseravic, both advanced.

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Ivanovic Out, Disaster Continues for Olympic Tennis

With all the smog, heat, rain and withdrawls already in the women’s Olympic tennis event, you would think it couldn’t possibly get worse. Well, the tournament just lost its top seed and one of its biggest attractions, Ana Ivanovic. She has had pain in the joint between her fore finger and thumb since after Wimbledon. Her doctor says this could mean a plaster cast which would also mean a withdrawl from the U.S. Open, but its too early to tell.

“It’s one of the hardest moments in my career,” Ivanovic said. “I’m very, very disappointed.”

And with rain forcasted for the next three days, this is going to be a big ole mess.

Filed under: Ivanovic, Olympics, , , , ,

China, Spy on the Williams All You Want

China has allegedly been monitoring the Williams sisters training sessions. And Serena and Venus could care less. Frankly, China can spy on them all they want, it really isn’t going to help them beat the sisters. This is presumably being done for the doubles competition, where the Chinese have a better chance of medaling.

“We don’t know. We just follow that yellow ball, we don’t look around,” said Serena in response to question.”We’re out there, we’ve been practising the last two days together. The only thing I see is the ball or whoever I’m practising with at the time,” she added.

Well, if the Williams are healthy, they’re taking the doubles gold, no matter who is spying on them.

Filed under: Olympics, Serena, Venus, , , , , ,

In Quotes: Fed on the Olympic Villiage

When Fed was asked where he would be staying for the duration of the games, this was his response:

“It’s not possible for me to stay there [Olympic Village], there are so many athletes who would want their pictures taken with me…I don’t mind it, but everyday? I cant escape it…”

For a second I thought I was reading a quote from Djerk.

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Beijing 2008: Men’s Predictions and Previews

Quarter 1:

Soon to be world number 2, Roger Federer of Switzerland, has a tough first round against Dmitry Tursunov of Russia but, I think Fed is going to be a bit more relaxed now that the race for number 1 is over. That being said, he still has to deal with James Blake of the United States, Gilles Simon of France, and Ivo Karlovic of Croatia. Simon and Karlovic have already beaten Federer this summer. Also in contention is Tomas Berdych of the Czech Republic, who upset Federer in the 2004 Games in Athens.

Semifinalist: Roger Federer

Quarter 2:

The second quarter has no clear cut favorite, with its highest seeds being Nikolay Davydenko and David Ferrer. Also in this section are Fernando Gonzales of Chile and Nicolas Kiefer of Germany. I feel like we’re going to get a surprise semifinalist out of this group, though.

Semifinalist: Ernest Gulbis

Quarter 3:

Novak Djokovic is the favorite for this section with the biggest challenges coming from David Nalbandian and Mikhail Youzhny. Novak does have an interesting first round encounter with Robby Ginepri, which could spell trouble if the Serb is off his game. Floaters include big hitting Simon Bolleli and charismatic frenchman Gael Monfils. Still, I think Djokovic is through to the semis this time.

Semifinalist: Novak Djokovic

Quarter 4:

New world number one, Rafael Nadal, could face a stern test from Andy Murray in this section of the draw if it holds form. It looks like it most likely will, with the other seeds being Stanislas Wawrinka and Radek Stepanek. Nadal could meet Lleyton Hewitt in the second round, but Hewitt doesn’t have the tools anymore to take down Rafa.

Semifinalist: Rafael Nadal

Gold: Rafael Nadal

Silver: Roger Federer

Bronze: Novak Djokovic

Filed under: Olympics, Predictions/Previews, , , ,

Beijing 2008: Women’s Preview and Predictions

Quarter 1:

This quarter houses top seed, Ana Ivanovic of Serbia, and eighth seed, Agnieska Radwanska of Poland. The two remaining seeds in the section are Vera Zvonareva of Russia (9) and Patty Schnyder of Switzerland (13). Also lurking in this section is Tatiana Golovin, who is playing in her first tournament since April. Look for Ana to make the semifinals easily if her thumb is not an issue. Radwanska could definitely give Ivanovic trouble if she isn’t playing her best.

Semifinalist: Ana Ivanovic

Quarter 2:

Fourth seed, Serena Williams of the United States, and fifth seed, Elena Dementieva of Russia, lead this section of the draw. The other two seeds are Alize Cornet of France (15) and Daniela Hantuchova of Slovakia (10). Granted, Hantuchova is just coming back from injury and Cornet isn’t really much of a hard court player and will face big-hitting Nicole Vaidisova in the first round. If Vaidisova is on her game she could do some major damage on the fast hard courts in Beijing. Also, watch out for Caroline Wozniacki of Denmark, coming off her first title last week in Sweden. However, this quarter is Serena’s for the taking, and an Olympic Gold being the only significant title that she lacks, you know she’s bringing her A game.

Semifinalist: Serena Williams

Quarter 3:

Third seed Svetlana Kuznetsova of Russia is in danger right off the bat, facing local favorite, Li Na, in the first round. This match up is probably the best chance of a first round upset if Na is in form. Also in this section are Venus Williams of the United States, Victoria Azarenka of Belarus and Flavia Pennetta of Italy. Azarenka has had solid results this summer and could make some noise in this section. Venus hasn’t played since she won the title at Wimbledon so, her form will be questionable.

Semifinalist: Venus Williams

Quarter 4:

Soon to be world number 1, Jelena Jankovic’s quarter also has U.S. Open Series winner, Dinara Safina of Russia, who’s been having a red hot summer so far, grabbing titles in Los Angeles and Montreal. Other seeds are Agnes Szavay of Hungary (11) and Dominika Cibulkova of Slovakia (16). Also in this section is 2000 Olympic Gold medalist, Lindsay Davenport, whose primary reason for returning to the tour was to compete in the Games. I’m thinking whoever wins the projected Safina-Davenport second round match is going all the way to the semifinals.

Semifinalist: Dinara Safina

Gold: Serena Williams

Silver: Dinara Safina

Bronze: Venus Williams

Filed under: Olympics, Predictions/Previews, , , ,